My box of shattered dreams

The other day I was watching an episode of Simpsons, which happens to be my most favorite series of all time. There was a scene in which Marge Simpson opens a box of shattered dreams which she keeps in the disappointment closet. Though, it was shown as a gag or a joke, I liked the idea of a box of shattered dreams.

I have had dreams ever since I was a kid. I used to dream a lot, and I still do. And over the years I have learnt, not many dreams come true. And I have also realised that, these dreams which dont come true, come back to haunt your memories and torture your soul. I never kept a written tab of all my shattered/broken dreams and I wish to list them all. This is a personal rant, and if you are mortified at having to read other's dreams then please by all means, dont read it.

Any hoooo, this is my list, in a ramdom, rambling order.

1. I always dreamt of a pet dog, whom I can call my own. I wanted him to name him Tim.
2. A Hotwheels car set or a single car atleast.
3. A train set, along with the tracks.
4. A remote controlled miniature plane.
5. A pair of doves or a parrot for a pet.
6. The Indian Airforce/Army.
7. A police inspector.
8. An IAS officer.
9. A professional wrestler ( I wanted to beat the living day lights out of Yokozuna)
10. I always wanted to play an instrument.
11. A pair of cute bunnies as pets (yes, I loveee pets!!!).
12. I always wanted to visit Egypt, see the Pyramids, un earth a mummy, get cursed, unleash hell.
13. The One ring, set in gold, hanging from my neck.
14. A cool green croc trench coat like the one Morpheus wears in The Matrix.
15. Do a wheelie on my bike.
16. Travel India alone, meet new people, discover new places, customs, taste culinary delights.
17. Skii down the slopes of a snow filled mountain side.
18. Camp in the forest.
19. Catch fish with a fish pole and bait.
20. Have a nice meal cooked in a campfire.
21. Go into the middle of a calm serene lake, read a book, while I wait for a catch.
22. Visit Brazil, see the rain forest and travel the Amazon.
23. See a crocodile.
24. Go on an adventure.
25. Get a birthday present.
26. Write a novel.

Ok, this list is making me depressed!

There are a few more shattered dreams, which I hope to complete when I am in a better mood.

These are my shattered dreams, which I have kept in a box deep down my heart and in Marge's words, keep it in the closet of disappointments.

Maybe one day someone will come along who will discover my closet of disappointment and then you all will see another post from me.

Until then, Good bye.

Have a little patience....

I was reminded of this wonderful song by Take That, in their come back album, as I was reflecting on my chat with a close friend of mine. I was really taken aback by how much important patience is, in a relationship, in fact everything. I felt really bad at the way a relationship ended, and I blame it on lack of patience. The Bible says, patience is a virtue, and today I felt, it surely is. It should have been a commandment, maybe then, people would give it a bit more importance.

The person involved, thought that by practical thinking he can move on, but can he? I cant bear to see any relationship broken, and I felt so very sad at the turn of events and how he is now, after being practical, is regretting the break up. Break ups are really good, they tell the soul, how much the person is being missed and what that person is missing in his life.

So, back to the topic. How much patience is required? Is there a limit to it? I was thinking about it the whole of the evening, and my heart felt burdened about the lack of patience in people. Being in a loving relationship is the best thing anyone can have, and a break up because of the lack of patience, is really sad. But how much can a person show patience? I feel that, if you love a person truely, there can be no limit to the patience. Yes, there maybe times when an angry word is spoken but, love conquers all.

I might seem stupid about how I link all to love, but its true. This person now misses her, feels sad that they broke up, and feels alone. Where were those so called practical thoughts on how he can live life? Where were those logical calculations on how he can plan his life and lead it without her? A decision in haste, has brought so much misery to him and the girl. I feel really sad for the both of them. Maybe now he will sing, misery is my company.

But, that has been an eye opener to me, as I pondering on my relationship with my dearest. Am I showing patience in all areas? How many times have I hurt her with my words, coz I lacked patience? Yes, patience is a virtue and I wish I could have all the patience in the world! I wish I could make a difference. I wish I could show people how much patience is needed in everything. At this moment, I can only pray and wish that God would teach people how to be patient.

And I felt I should make a commitment to be more patient, more kind, more gentle not just to my beloved, but to all my friends, to the people I meet, I work with and everyone in general. Maybe things happen because I can learn from them. They might have a broken relationship, but I have learnt from them, I need more patience, and as the song keeps reminding us, just have a lil patience.

still searching for an apt title....

This thought came to me while I was in church, listening to a preacher from the States. He was speaking about a man's legacy and his favourites and it stuck me. Everyone has some favourites in their life, a favourite song, a favourite poet, a favourite hero, heroine, friend, wife, etc..to each his own. Well, this is my list of the 37 favourite things in my life.

I hope this unraveling of the depths of my soul, the baring of my heart, the freakiness in my character and the things I like, doesnt come as a shock to my readers. To those who are dumbstuck, awestuck and moonstuck I have only one thing to say.......well come to think of it, I dont have anything to say, well...maybe...I would say...too bad, mate!.

Disclaimer: The following material you are about to read might be bad for your heart, so if anyone of you have a weak heart..please keep away.

Having said that, the following is my list of favourites.

1. Favourite Hymn: What a friend we have in Jesus
2. Favourite Old Testament Character: King David
3. Favourite New Testament character: Paul the apostle
4. Favourite Verse: If you confess your sins, he is faithful... (1 John 1:9)
5. Favourite Poem: Daffodils - Williams wordsworth
6. Favourite Burden:
7. Favourite Friend: Deepu
8. Favourite Quote: Do all the good you can, in all the ways you can, to all the souls you can, in every place you can, at all the times you can, with all the zeal you can, as long as ever you can. - John Wesley.
9. Favourite Holiday: Christmas day
10. Favourite Color: Green
11. Favourite Painting: Sunflowers - Van Gogh
12. Favourite Day: Friday
13. Favourite Doctrine: The Book of James
14. Favourite State: Victoria(Australia) & State of Hyderabad( Pre- Independence)
15. Favourite Word: Love
16. Favourite Prophet: Jonah
17.
18. Favourite Bird: Hawk
19. Favourite Animal: Rabbit
20. Favourite Fish: The great white shark
21. Favourite Psalm: Psalm 23
22. Favourite Question: Psalm 119:9 (How can a young man keep his way pure?)
23. Favourite phrase:
24. Favourite warning:
25. Favourite statement:
26. Favourite President: Abdul Kalam
27. Favourite Smell: the smell of a pizza being baked
28. Favourite Illustration:
29. Favourite Season: Winter
30. Favourite Preacher: My dad!
31. Favourite Epistle: Book of James
32. Favourite Instrument: Guitar, spanish Guitar to be precise.
33: Favourite Possession: none @ the moment
34: Favourite Restaurant: Astoria's in Hyderabad, La Porchetta in Melbourne.
35: Favourite Sermon: Living Sacrifice - by Pastor Nigel Lau
36: Favourite Time: 3 AM to 9 AM (110 GB download limit)
37: Favourite Topic: Holiness

The war against SAM - part 2

Meanwhile, in a land far away, trouble is brewing. The weapon, the one cd, which can break the SAM, is not what it seems. Bugs doesnt know it yet. Its the middle of the night, the fortress just awoke from a reboot, and the ring tries to does its thing. The eriee glow of the two LEDS reflect on the face of Bugs, in a the quiet of the dark.

The cursor blinks, the cd turns, time stands still. The entire hopes of the assistant's future in the job rests on the one cd. And then, the cd stops, was the SAM defeated? The expressi0n on Bugs face, tells it all. The SAM has started up, and gained its full strength. There is no way Bugs can get into the fortress now. The cd is taken out, there was no reason why the cd wouldnt work. It was the one cd, and it was supposed to defeat SAM. That was the purpose of its creation, the goal of its maker.

The one cd hasnt done its job, which brings everything back to square one. can the SAM be beaten? Wil Bugs be victorious? Will the attendant lose everything? Everything rests in the hands on the one cd.

Bugs has spent the last 4 years in the domain of the evil incarnate, and he knows that the SAM can be beaten. It has been defeated in the past, and it can be defeated now. He puts the cd back in his laptop, and checks it. The cd is blank! Is this the one cd, or is this a different one. Bugs confirms in the one cd, and that its blank coz there is trouble in his laptop. One of the many minions of the evil incarnate has launched a blitz attack on Bugs laptop, and the one cd couldnt be created. The minion, namely, the cd burning wizard, attacked right where it hurt, the cd couldnt be burnt. There is no hope now for mankind.

The evil one may have won the battle, but the war is still on. Bugs contemplates new strategy. Bugs was one of the greatest strategists in the domain. He carries the scars and medals of many victories. A new dawn brings new hope, renewed spirit and ofcourse a new day.

There was a rumour in old days about a certain old laptop which stays in the cupboard down the stairs. The story was that the laptop was so evil the owner locked it up in the cupboard, where it waits to be rescued, to be awakened again, so it can spread its evil around, again. But the laptop had a working cdrom and Bugs needed that, desperately. The assistant and Bugs, started on a "wild goose" chase, but to no avail. They were about to give up, when they saw an old box filled with some old books, and behind the box, there it was. The old evil laptop. The dust and cobwebs gave it a very eriee look and the dark evil is about to awaken.

The laptop was booted up, the LEDS were lighting up for the first time in ages. The laptop was very old and had age written all over the features. Bugs hopes to use this to create another cd, which will help crack the SAM. The laptop had no SAM protection, and within minutes of booting up, Bugs was able to create a new cd, which was working. The laptop has done its job, its atonement for the many ages of evil lucking in it.

The spirits in the camp lifted. That night Bugs planned the offensive. It was quiet, it was dark and nothing could be heard except for the distant traffic and the sound of the fortress's exhausts. The cd was inserted, and the machine restarted. There was total quiet and no one even dared to breathe. The cd LED was blinking, the cursor on the fortress waited for input. The SAM was eager to get back to guarding the fortress. Did it sense the danger lurking inside the cdrom drive? It was too late for SAM as the cd started to turn and read the magic codes in it. The cursor gave way to the boot screen of the cd.

The first half of the battle was won. Will Bugs be able to crack open the SAM? Was the SAM defeated? Did the one cd do its job? Will we ever know? I dont know, maybe in the future, we hear of the ending, but for now, I bid adieu.

The war against SAM - part 1

It all happened, when a dumb retail assistant "accidentally" changed the password of the system. Windows XP refused to log in the next day, coz the same retail assistant forgot to remember the password, Do'h!!

So, they tried they tried, but they couldnt put the password right together. They tried from dawn to noon and from noon to dusk. Night fall was upon them, but the system refused to let them in. So they called a someone called Bugs, who does computer "stuff" for free. Taking the advice of Bugs, they changed the username to administrator and tried again, but the retail assistant's manager forgot the admin password too. Do'h, Do'h!

Again they tried, all sorts of combinations known to the human mind, but couldnt get into the system. A second call, then the third, then the fourth went to the PC guy, no help recieved. And when they were about to do what any1 can do best, format the system, Bugs came back.

Like the first rays of light after a cloudy and stormy night, like the pleasant breeze on a hot summer day, like the first drops of rain on a scorching ground, he came. When you stay in Melbourne long enough, the description reminds you of the weather. So he came, and saw them huff and puff over the problem.

He smiled and said, am sleepy lets fix it later. The retail assistant and his manager heaved a sigh of relief, even though it maybe the retail assistant alone, coz his head was on the line. They trusted him, like they always did. For them, he was the only hope. Bugs went upstairs, logged into his system, and did a bit of research and some linux kernel code. A shell script was prepared too.

The PC was alone, no one could access it, it remained proud, tall, thinking its secure and no one can break the password. It gleamed like a dark fortress in the night, those two LEDS like two lamp posts guarding the gates of hell. Inside the fortress, the data slept, peacefully, not knowing the battle thats about to begin at its gates. The SAM was haughty, proud of its security and encryption. It should be, it was designed by the evil incarnate, Bill Gates and his dark domain, Microsoft. The SAM was designed to endure, stay untouched, keep its secrets, and protect the fortress.

Bugs was silent, he was pondering. He knew he was against a strong enemy, an enemy he has met on different battlefields. He has won the skirmishes, but attacking the fortress was another issue. He needed man power, he needed his close friends, he needed time. But none came. He was alone, all alone, standing up against the evil ruler of the fortress, the SAM. The time has come. The battle lines were drawn, the PC was rebooted. Then the unthinkable happened.

More of this...coming soon!!

Update on FAT!

A new study has come up recently which says that a virus which causes flu is the main reason for obesity. Now we know why so many people are fat, eh! They had too many bouts of flu! And the the irony is that we have pills for everything except for the flu. Now the scientists can blame the lack of progress on the fight against obesity, to the common cold.

We cant fight cold, so we cant fight obesity. This is the stupidest thing I ever heard.

I heard they use monkeys to do the testing, but I didn't know that by "testing" they meant that the monkeys run the labs! I thought they were test subjects! Now I know we are the test subjects, and the monkeys run the labs!

If the scientists cant come up with solutions to obesity, then don't! But, honestly, a flu, causing obesity? What do they think people are? Ignorant??

I hope i dont see the day, when they will start blaming Wookies for obesity, who knows!

Ethics, morals and watnot!

Ethics - (from Greek ἦθος meaning "custom") is the branch of axiology, one of the four major branches of philosophy, which attempts to understand the nature of morality; to define that which is right from that which is wrong. The Western tradition of ethics is sometimes called moral philosophy. – Wikipedia.

Humanity is based on some very fundamental and basic guidelines of which “morals” is a major component. Morals can be defined as “that which is right from that which is wrong”. But how do we define by whose morals should we adhere?

To further confuse the issue most people take guidance from different fields, like religion, politics, race, community, gender etc. Since no man belongs to just one of these field the outcome was total and disastrous complications and misunderstandings.

For example: - In India, a father, Muslim by religion who religious morals did not allow the consumption of alcohol was forced to save his daughter’s life by allowing the doctors to use medicines with alcohol content. Being the resident of a very old and conservative community and a Quazi or religious cleric, he was shunned by his community for this humane and moralistic act.

To understand or differentiate the various morals, man introduced the concept of ETHICS or “That which attempts to understand the nature of morality.” Or “that which tries to understand what composes moral behavior” There are many different fields and institutions that make up the human world. Some fields can be categorized as personal and some professional, therefore the divisions of ethics into professional or work ethics and personal or individual ethics.

Personal Ethics:

That which a person’s heart feels is right or wrong towards his friends, family etc based on a personal and intimate level. For example: - Britain, in the olden days, held strong ideas of moral behavior by women. Such as, it was considered immoral for a woman to show her ankle in public or to be seen dancing more than twice with the same man. Such moral ethics are still based on societal rules. As we have seen, over the decades since that time, it is no longer immoral for women to attend nude beaches or wear bikinis that show off nearly all of their bodies. This again is rules by society’s laws.

Mona Lisa Smile greatly captured the progression of women in the early 50’s in America. A free-thinking art professor teaches conservative 50's Wellesley girls to question their traditional societal roles. According to the movie, the women of that era were taught to be good housewives and how to please their husbands. Julia Roberts, as a new age progressive thinker, shows the girls how to live life, though it was against the rules or societal morals of that time. As the tagline famously goes “In a world that told them how to think, she showed them how to live.”

Another kind of personal ethic can be regarding True and False. For example: To a sibling it is unethical to speak out against his brother or sister no matter what lies he needs to adopt. However for the same person it is ethical to advise his parents that another has lied to them.

Examples of personal ethics in different situations:

A friend would try to respect and adhere as much as possible to his friend’s different religious ideas.

For example, I share an apartment with my friends, and they are vegetarians and I am not, so I respect and adhere not to cook anything in their vessels, as it would be a breach to their religious morals.

Professional Ethics:

That which a worker feels is right or wrong in his work environment on a professional level.

For example: In a company that pays on commission basis, it is unethical or wrong professionally to try to interfere and take a colleague’s sale as your own. On the other hand it is ethical to advise your employer that an action taken by a fellow colleague is affecting the company’s reputation or business.

Most professionals can feel uncomfortable in making decisions that might affect their colleagues’ employment status negatively. The dilemma for them is whether to adhere to their professional ethics or morals or to adhere to their personal ethics or morals.

Examples of Professional Ethics in different Fields:

Artistic Ethics: - An artist would consider it deceitful and unethical to copy fellow artists’ ideas.

Musical ethics: - A musician would consider it unethical to copy or insert a fellow musician’s individualistic song or tune.

Similarly a writer would not write a story that hints a connection or similarity to another author’s writing.

An architect would not like to build using another colleague’s idea.

All these fields have defined ethics or morals based on their profession and their individualistic need to create that which is characteristic to their personality or unique ideas.

Ethics, as defined, refers to the rules and standards governing the conduct of an individual with others. As technology and computers became more and more a part of our everyday lives, we must understand that the problems that have always plagued business and conduct will continue to be a problem. In fact, a new medium can provide even more difficult questions of judgment. In other words, since the introduction of the World Wide Web, the definition of ethics has evolved, too. A new type of ethics known as computer ethics has emerged. Computer ethics is concerned with standards of conduct as they pertain to computers.

Computer ethics has come a long way, ever since it has emerged. The most pressing of them are the ones related to Privacy, Copyright and censorship. And there are other issues like Internet piracy, Big brother (a term which means the organization is snooping on the employees), file sharing, pornography, SPAM in a broader prospective.

Some years ago, the file sharing site, Napster, was sued and the creator taken to court by some well known music companies. The creator of Napster was just creating a technology or a program for users who connect to his network to share files among them selves. He was slapped with huge fines and jail sentence, while the main culprits, the seven hundred thousand odd users, went scot-free. But have they been able to stop it? The answer is NO; Napster gave way to other file sharing programs like Ares, kazaa, Limewire and many others.

Another ethical issue is Music sharing. I know and am a member of many forums and sites which give free music downloads. How ethically correct is banning sharing of music? It is true, the artists are losing money, but how far are they correct is trying to stop it? Their music is good, listen-worthy; hence many people are sharing it or downloading it. And the artists earn enough when they go on the big stage shows, more than enough I can say. To quote from a well known television series, South park, “…because that’s what real artists do, people are always gonna find a way to copy our music or swap it for free..if we were real musicians we should play and make songs so that people can listen…….”

Privacy, from the basic system administrator to the large amount of data the government has about us, everyone has some way of getting into users data, their personal details, their professional data, and a lot of other stuff. How do we decide how much of it is ethical and how much of it is not? How safe are our bank details, our shopping tastes, our private lives and we ourselves?

While I was working as a system administrator, I had full access to everyone’s files and information including their passwords, secret questions, answers, and company data. How much of it am I supposed to know, as part of my job? And how much of the information that I now know should I not have known?

Computers are taking over millions of jobs, as we speak; they are used in place of people in the form of ATM’s, aircraft controls, machine operators etc. Is this ethical? Computers do work faster and more efficiently than humans, it doesn’t mean we fire our employees and rely totally on computers.

Censorship is a big concern and an ethical issue which needs to be addressed. Much of the shady part of the internet, which is banned from hosting in many countries, is being hosted by other European countries. How ethical are the country’s laws in hosting such material?

What about SPAM? A good amount of advertisement is always good, but where do we draw the line? And spam spreads because, the companies whom we trust with our email addresses, and the programs which we trust and use, contain bots and snoop ware, which finds out our lifestyle and sends advertisements in bulk to our mails.

A Spam mail which promises the user some millions in money are considered unethical where as a random pyramid system or network marketing which fools people by promising them the same is considered ethical by law.

When Bill Gates included Internet Explorer in the new versions of windows, most of the computing community considered it unethical of him to do it. His decisions drove Netscape towards bankruptcy and further more towards its extinction. For him it was a strategic business decision, for others it was unethical.

Computers are a great way of using technology, but where does morality come into picture? Morality must play catch-up to technology that has leap-frogged ahead. Without knowledge about computer ethics, we are not fully equipped to enter the new world of online society – and you will need to enter that world, whether you choose a career in art, business, programming or anything else.